Saturday, April 9, 2011

Today is Saturday.In case you were wondering-i'm not writing out Rebecca Black lyrics, though it feels that way right? It's my day off and i just had so many realizations today. I woke up, ate a yogurt, and cleaned up a bit. Then, i watched 500 Days Of Summer. I balled through the entire thing. I love that movie so much. I think it's because it's more realistic than most movies. In the end of a love movie, you always figure that they're gonna just be together forever right? WHEN DOES THAT EVER HAPPEN? I mean, i remember being head over heels for boys in high school, and even before that. And when i felt that way, i truly didn't believe that i could ever feel that way about anyone else. Too bad i had that feeling for about 3 2 otther guys since then. Life goes on, even when your heart aches so terribly, and you think you'll never rise up form the pain. I've been through it all, countless times. I always thought "I'll always feel like this, it'll never go away" especially after months and months pass your eyes and you feel the same. It all makes you stronger, and "the first cut is the deepest". It's very true. That aside, i want to be in love. I just want to rest my head on someones shoulder, and give them a big hug. I just wanna hold someones hand, and feel wanted. I just wanna feel good enough. that's it. Why do i feel like i'll never get that chance? It's so hard for me to overcome that one.

I have been listening to country music all day. When we had the farm in Akron, we used to listen to country music all the time. i was pretty against it through middle and high school, but i've been listening to Brad Paisley and Tim McGraw all day, and it just takes me back to a time when my heart felt so free, and i was so open and happy. Young, and innocent, and i was just a joyful little thing. Life was so much less complicated. What's different about me now? Everything.

I'm gonna go take a little nap i think.
I'm so tired of reminiscing.

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